Diversity: The (Not So) Dirty D-Word

The following speech was initially written in April 2023 for a proposed DisruptHR talk. The DisruptHR model involves a timed five-minute speech where slides are forcibly advanced every 15 seconds. If you haven’t experienced the energy and insights of DisruptHR, check them out and consider watching my first talk about the passion necessary for a career in HR.

While the following talk was never delivered, its topic remains near and dear to me. The memories and life lessons it recounts are as relevant today as they were in 2017-2018 when they took place. Much has happened in the DEI, or as I prefer DIB (Diversity, Inclusion & Belonging), space since then. I have long considered if and when to share this piece. I’ve come to the conclusion that there will never be an ideal time; however, what is far more important is contributing to the ongoing dialogue.   

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Growing up, I thought diversity was a four-letter word. Boy, was I wrong!

I grew up in rural PA, where our most diverse population was Amish. My grade school had three students of color, and the same number of Asian heritage. In high school, 85% of students were Caucasian. When I was looking for a college, I deliberately wanted to go to a school where I didn’t feel like a minority because college scared me. College was where you drank the Kool-Aid and graduated a different person. 

Let’s pause a second…and ask why? In order for diversity efforts to be meaningful, we have to step outside of the numbers and into the reasons and emotions behind them. Each year in grade school we would have our annual diversity lesson, and the takeaway message I left with – which I trust was different from the lesson itself – was “How dare you have been born the way you were born. For things beyond your control, you should feel bad about yourself.” Twelve-year-old me could not wait for the finger wagging and soapboxing to be over!

My perception of diversity only began to noticeably change during my senior year of college. I watched my Alma Mater grow more diverse in my years there, and in a psychology class during the Trump/Clinton election cycle, we had adult civil discourse about diversity for the first time. It wasn’t about right and wrong. Who owed whom. It was about sharing life stories, struggles and perspectives. It was about learning and appreciating that our converged paths had started in different places and had seen different things.

In my first talent management role after graduation, I distinctly remember my boss explaining the concept of Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) to me. She raved about how all the best companies had them and that they were backed by leading research. What I heard – and I trust was different than what she said – was “ERGs divide people based on how they’re different, and simply by dividing them, we create inclusion.” Poof, magic! To me, this sounded a lot like segregation. Trusting that she was smarter than me, I thought to myself, Okay, ever so briefly, I’m going to see if this ERG thing has merit. Any whiff of segregation, and I’m out.  

Arguably, that is the best career decision I’ve ever made. Through building up ERGs and coaching their aspiring leaders, my worldview permanently changed. Diversity was not about guilt. Instead, these leaders focused on the three G’s: Gather, Give back and Grow. They cared about sharing their heritage and cultures, giving back to causes special to them and creating opportunities for themselves and others to advance their careers. Each and every action they took welcomed others – casting the door wide open. Diversity was limited to spreadsheets. Inclusion ruled the day as we eyed belonging. We called DIBs on the culture we wanted to have.

This was epitomized when talent leaders first shared the organization’s planned diversity goals with the ERG leads. They passionately spoke against them. They fully supported diverse candidate slates and diverse interview panels. They loved investing in targeted scholarships to fortify a diverse future pipeline of talent. They hated the idea that the “diverse” candidate would be hired over the “best” candidate in order to “hit the numbers.” They wanted to work alongside of the best. Trusting in diverse slates, they knew our diversity numbers would increase. They knew diverse talent was top notch, without the need for preferential treatment.  

I have never forgotten these leaders or the impression they made on my life. As diversity efforts and perceptions continue to shift, I call on you to remember that within your organization, you have people who think of diversity as the dirty D-word, who have only seen the world through their own eyes, who have only been made to feel guilty and threatened, who feel pushed to accept an agenda that contradicts their diversity of thought and creed. You also have your squeaky wheels, social activists and self-identified victims. Finally, we have people who want to throw open doors, create space, bring people together and appreciate the richness of humanity. This is where the magic happens.

Embrace all people. Even the hesitant. Even the boisterous. We need this conversation. We need civil discourse in order to gather, give back and grow. We need a heart for all people.