This question was the kickoff of a great professional partnership. It was the way a senior no-nonsense, warm-hearted coach saw fit to suss out if I could “hang.” Did I welcome candor? Could I talk shop without any sugar coating? Was I prepared to field some thrown rocks and not crumble under the rubble? Initially this question caught me off guard; however, I soon learned that it would set the tone for our relationship. I suppose that I passed the litmus test.
Forming such strong workplace relationships is vital for mentorship, partnership and success. Having colleagues’ backs at work makes all the difference, particularly when the going gets tough. We should strive to build foundations of trust rather than of glass that must be tiptoed on.
Upon further reflection, I believe this basic, albeit surprising, question holds a few distinct points of insight:
How formal does a colleague desire the relationship to be? Prim, proper and reserved or roll up your sleeves, knee deep in the trenches together? This is a valuable probing technique during the “norming” phase of team building. It fosters better work friendships.
How willing and receptive is someone to feedback? Sometimes we are more prepared and receptive to feedback than others. Timing matters.
How transparent are you ready to be? How closely are you willing to partner? Clarity comes when you let others see through the window into the interior chaos.
Finally, used for self-reflection, this question serves as a test of resilience. We do not need to be bullet proof 100% of the time because growth requires courage and vulnerability. This question prompts us to acknowledge vulnerability but not allow ourselves to be shattered by it. For instance, job application rejection letters stink, but should form letters from a “do not reply” account shake us to our core? No. We rise above and put in yet another application to chase our dreams.
To the Point
Are you made of glass? Are your workplace relationships? What impact does this have for you, your team and how you work?
I have found that this type of work friendship also tends to include a fair bit of sarcasm. Once we can laugh, the full person arrives. Once candor is unlocked, stronger bonds are forged and true colors come out…sometimes even the willingness to not only point out but also pull someone’s first gray hair…. still bothered (grateful?) for that one.
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